Music Trend of the Week: All Talk

Fuck singing...seriously. I am going to go to this PARTY and I am going to tell you EXACTLY what's going down, bitch. There will be boozing. And I will be alll up in that piece with all my hoes looking fly and wearing cool shit like glasses indoors. And after all that I'm gona wake up and do it all again. Lastly, DON'T EXPECT ME TO TELL ALL ABOUT IT WITH MELODIES AND SHIT! Talking's just fine. Who do you think I am, an artist?

Love, Kesha

It seems that Kesha has put beat talking on the map.

It's not just girls though. More and more peeps have decided that talking is the way to go. I'll admit, Tik Tok is a guilty pleasure. I think it's everyone's. Does this asshole deserve to make a ton of money off the song? No. But hell, I've seen my guy friends squeal when it came on the radio (not naming any names but...Gore and Spiller.)

About those other artists...even guys are jumping at this party.

As for the above artist, Uffie, you might say she sounds like a rip of Kesha. But hold the phone! Anyone who's copped that Justice album Cross knows that their song The Party (with like 27 R's and 52 T's...and featuring Uffie) came out like two years ago! Take a listen and see if you notice any similarities:

Come on you little gypsy...didn't think we were going to find out?

Now if you really want to be that girl who needs to play this song every night before you go out with your girls to 'just dance', fine. Be that girl. We don't like you anyway. Guys...own up to it. You listen to this song when it comes on the radio. Stop acting like you don't. Just don't do it with the windows down...

Does this type of music glamorize the act of being a drunken, sloppy whore? Yes it certainly does. Thankfully, a drunken sloppy whore who happens to have access to all the alcohol and fame she can shove in her ass will probably squander it before she can do any real damage. So...to conclude:

Kesha! She's got Amy Winehouse's vices, but none of her talent.

and...

Beat Talking! Talentless work, but damn if it isn't catchy.

It's like the sassy version of the vocoder box. But is it really something to worry about? Hopefully not. I don't think many more people are gona jump on this bandwagon. If they did...can you imagine the new types of battles over who came out first and so on? Nothing more than gossip on a beat. And that would suck.

Out.